This morning I was followed to the bus stop by a very malicious looking goat.
The kind of goat that has a sort of a beard and more importantly, two very sharp horns. I have no clue why it decided to accompany me to my destination. All I had done was look at it a little longer than I would look at a goat minus beard and horns. It was breakfasting as though it had all the time in the world (which is true, anyway) when I happened to walk out of my building. We looked at each other and then, finding me a trifle more interesting (a very diplomatic word!) than the average human, the animal stood up and started to walk behind me. Having reached the stop, I halted. It threw me the kind of look that humans do when a very pleasant activity they are engaged in is suddenly and rudely interrupted. After having stared (glared?) at me thus, it settled down next to me and went ahead with the chomping of grass with utmost concentration . My bus arrived and I bade farewell to my quadruped companion.
Later on, during a very boring bus-ride I amused myself by imagining the conversation we would have had if the goat could speak the human tongue.
Extract:
Me: (thinking) Heavens! What sort of a goat is that?
Goat: (aloud) Good Lord! What kind of a creation is this!!!!!?????????
Me: Errr..
Goat: What are you staring at? Never seen an animal enjoying a meal?
Me: (Gulp) Sorry, I think I shall get going. I need to get to work, you know.
Goat: Yeah right! You stare at me and you expect to be left unpunished? I am going to accompany you to wherever you are headed and embarass you. Heh! Heh!
Me: Oh.. I am sorry you know. I had not really meant to stare. But you do look so different from the other goats.
Goat: Gee.. stop it kid! I am blushing. Now that you have paid me such a compliment, I shall ensure that no evil soul hovers near you till you reach the safety of your stop. Let us venture forth..
Me: Well.... That was not exactly the pupose of my statement, but... never mind..
Goat: (Gets up and starts to walk) Nothing like a nice, peaceful morning walk!!
Me: Hmm..
Bus stop arrives and I come to a sudden halt.
Goat: (throwing me a look of the deepest loathing that a goat can manage) Thank you ever so much for interrupting two very pleasant activities. My breakfast, and a morning walk... humph! And, by the way, you are a pathetic conversationalist..
(I start to make a very rude comment, but the sight of those horns stop me)
Me: Accept my apologies, O great muncher of the grass, but I have to leave now that my bus has arrived.
Goat: Yeah, Yeah.. Go on. And please dont expect me to protect you from evil people every morning. And the next time you interrupt my breakfast, I shall poke you with the horns..
Me: (Getting into the bus). As you please, your Goatness... Phew!
This morning was not the first time I had been followed by an animal. My sister often remarks that I have the brains of a goat and the face of a chimp. This high degree of association with the animal world may be the reason behind the times I have been followed by quadrupeds.
Undoubtedly, the most memorable incident was the time when I was accompanied to the bus stop by three stray dogs, a goat and till a certain distance, a buffalo. I did not object to this till they were at a distance from me. My sister saw the our progress from the terrace and had a hearty laugh. She went around telling everyone who bothered to pay attention, that I had shifted academic interests from Physics to animal husbandry. My grandfather actually believed her and gave me a thirty minute discourse on other career options. :) It took me a while to assure him that I had no plans such as my sister had been advertising.
For a while, I used to travel to school by the school bus. One morning, while we were waiting for a stationary vehicle to be removed from our way, I saw a dog engaged in an activity that was undoubtedly a source of extreme delight to the animal. The activity in simple steps:
1. Crouch inside a garbage bin.
2. Wait till a human is heard approaching.
3. The minute garbage is felt on the head, jump out at the human with a yelp.
4. Watch the human run for dear life and grin to self and the garbage bin.
5. Crouch back into original position and wait for the next victim.
I am reminded of another interesting incident that occured when I was in class 8. We had just finished studying a chapter on animals and some of the defence mechanisms they use. Utterly enchanted by the discoveries I made in class that day, I went back home and started to poke around the garden for an insect that might provide me with a firsthand demonstration of the text.
It is of utmost importance that I mention here, that I am terrified of the members of the 'creepy-crawly' family. I dont mind them as much if they are small and seem harmless (like the brown worms that lie around in bunches after the rains); but of the more able members (like lizards - eep!) produce a shudder..
So, I restricted my investigation to the safer parts of the garden. Soon, I found this green coloured worm crawling and I decided to explore the mechanisms of defence that it might have. I had a foot long stick in my hand and I poked the worm in it's middle (from a safe distance). To my amusement and utter surprise, the worm began to wiggle furiously, (much like someone who has a whole lot of ice put in their clothes) and then lay quite still. Convinced that I had murdered the poor creature, I thought I must bury it; give it a decent farewell. To my surprise (again) and fright, just when I was trying to lift it in my palm, it moved and merrily crawled away!
I have since refrained from poking a worm (or any other insect/animal for that matter). They are interesting to watch, loyal when treated with kindness and more sensible than humans sometimes (no animal has ever poked me in the middle to study my defence mechanism)!!
It is true that the book does not teach you everything - One of the most important things being kindness to animals.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Unexpected holiday a.k.a Myth!!!
Since she started class ten, my sister has proved herself, quite an effective alarm clock to me...
I realise that the preceding sentence does not make too much sense at first glance and hence,
Explanation: Having entered class ten, my sister is out of bed by 7 AM. Therefore, if I happen to see her asleep, I assume I still have some more time before I get out of bed.
This morning, she refused to get out of bed. After having assumed the time thrice, I glanced at the clock. It was 7:40 AM. I shook her awake violently, imagining scenes of her being punished for being late for class. I recieved a well aimed punch, a very sour look and the following sentence "I have a holiday today, ---(a whole load of rude words..)!!". The sentence was followed by a lot of grumbling and groaning and curses. Finally, she went back to sleep.
They had a holiday, right in the middle of the week, when every other institution (in particular, my office) seemed fully functional...on account of a bandh. Apparently, her teacher called her in the evening the previous day and broke the good news.
Alright, this might sound frustrated... AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
Phew! That felt good.. :D
Gone are the days, when the phrase "unexpected holiday" was valid to me. Back in school, the words sounded like music. The feeling was one of pure bliss, ecstacy. It was like being rewarded for some good deed in a previous birth.. :P
I remember one morning, I had not finished my assignments, I had a feeling I had even forgotten some assignments and I had not slept properly the previous night. I had dragged myself out of bed and through the chores of the morning. While I was walking towards school with visions of being hanged by the toes and being boiled in a couldron, I noticed that the road was not swarming with people as it usually did. By that time, I would have met at least 3 classmates, 7 juniors and a teacher or two. I reached school only to find it deserted. The bulletin board announced with great pride that "Today --- (date) is a holiday on account of a --- (political party) bandh". The emotions that washed over me, are beyond my abilities of description. I wanted to fall to my knees and worship the board, but I abandoned the idea the minute I saw two others happily staring at bringer of good news.
We had discovered that in cases of confusion regarding sudden holidays, extremely rainy days and public transport strikes, the attendance in class was quite poor. A more delightful discovery was that on such days, the teachers seeing no point in teaching a handful of students, left the classes to do as they wished. The ones who turned up that day ended up having the time of their lives. Some of the more sportive teachers even joined us in a few of the less boisterous games.
One morning, I peeped out of my sheets only to see a curtain of rainwater through the window. It was pouring like there would be no tomorrow. I jumped out of bed and got dressed at record speed. My mum thought she was hallucinating; my sister thought she was having a highly animated dream, and went back to bed. By the time I got to school, the rain had soaked my shoes and socks and was persistantly trying to get to my uniform. I was convinced, that I would be one of the very few people in class that day, and the day could be spent having fun and fooling around.
Apparently, every other classmate of mine had thought the same... humph!!
The teachers had a hearty laugh and we had all our classes that day. By the end of the day, half of us were starting a cold, the other half were sounding like frogs, and all of us were wet, tired and grumpy.
Ever since I started working holidays have become a rarity and unexpected holidays, a myth!! And hence the frustrated aaaaaarrrrgghhhhhs are put into use more often these days..
Alright, one last time.... AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHh!!!!!!!!! :P
I realise that the preceding sentence does not make too much sense at first glance and hence,
Explanation: Having entered class ten, my sister is out of bed by 7 AM. Therefore, if I happen to see her asleep, I assume I still have some more time before I get out of bed.
This morning, she refused to get out of bed. After having assumed the time thrice, I glanced at the clock. It was 7:40 AM. I shook her awake violently, imagining scenes of her being punished for being late for class. I recieved a well aimed punch, a very sour look and the following sentence "I have a holiday today, ---(a whole load of rude words..)!!". The sentence was followed by a lot of grumbling and groaning and curses. Finally, she went back to sleep.
They had a holiday, right in the middle of the week, when every other institution (in particular, my office) seemed fully functional...on account of a bandh. Apparently, her teacher called her in the evening the previous day and broke the good news.
Alright, this might sound frustrated... AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
Phew! That felt good.. :D
Gone are the days, when the phrase "unexpected holiday" was valid to me. Back in school, the words sounded like music. The feeling was one of pure bliss, ecstacy. It was like being rewarded for some good deed in a previous birth.. :P
I remember one morning, I had not finished my assignments, I had a feeling I had even forgotten some assignments and I had not slept properly the previous night. I had dragged myself out of bed and through the chores of the morning. While I was walking towards school with visions of being hanged by the toes and being boiled in a couldron, I noticed that the road was not swarming with people as it usually did. By that time, I would have met at least 3 classmates, 7 juniors and a teacher or two. I reached school only to find it deserted. The bulletin board announced with great pride that "Today --- (date) is a holiday on account of a --- (political party) bandh". The emotions that washed over me, are beyond my abilities of description. I wanted to fall to my knees and worship the board, but I abandoned the idea the minute I saw two others happily staring at bringer of good news.
We had discovered that in cases of confusion regarding sudden holidays, extremely rainy days and public transport strikes, the attendance in class was quite poor. A more delightful discovery was that on such days, the teachers seeing no point in teaching a handful of students, left the classes to do as they wished. The ones who turned up that day ended up having the time of their lives. Some of the more sportive teachers even joined us in a few of the less boisterous games.
One morning, I peeped out of my sheets only to see a curtain of rainwater through the window. It was pouring like there would be no tomorrow. I jumped out of bed and got dressed at record speed. My mum thought she was hallucinating; my sister thought she was having a highly animated dream, and went back to bed. By the time I got to school, the rain had soaked my shoes and socks and was persistantly trying to get to my uniform. I was convinced, that I would be one of the very few people in class that day, and the day could be spent having fun and fooling around.
Apparently, every other classmate of mine had thought the same... humph!!
The teachers had a hearty laugh and we had all our classes that day. By the end of the day, half of us were starting a cold, the other half were sounding like frogs, and all of us were wet, tired and grumpy.
Ever since I started working holidays have become a rarity and unexpected holidays, a myth!! And hence the frustrated aaaaaarrrrgghhhhhs are put into use more often these days..
Alright, one last time.... AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHh!!!!!!!!! :P