I cross therefore I am

Road crossing is probably one of those things, the finer points of which, not many people bother to appreciate or understand. Having crossed some of the most terrible roads, I have started to think of it more like an artistic endeavour rather than a regular activity.

Broadly classified, there seem to be three kinds of roads:

1. Fairly empty roads which one can cross at one's own pace and leisure. It is rather easy to engage in this form of the art. Not much expertise is required, except for functional eyes and legs.

2. The ones packed with vehicles stuck in a traffic jam. These are easy too, for the vehicles are in static conditions and hence, are harmless.

3. The moderately crowded ones. These are the roads on which there is always a stream of traffic not very unlike a party of ants running to and fro, very fast.

The third kind of roads are the most difficult to cross and require loads of patience and concentration, a Zen-like-calm and extremely superior reflexes. This form of the art is strictly for the experts and novices are advised to stay as far away as is possible.

One pleasant morning, I was crossing a road that belonged to type 1. It transitioned from type 1 to type 3 at an alarming rate. Apparently, all traffic had been stopped for a certain important person was to pass that way. The important person having passed, the vehicles charged forward like troops in a battle.

Suddenness of any sort, startles me to a greater magnitude than it startles other people. The sight of trucks and buses and a whole load of vehicles approaching very fast on a previously empty road most certainly qualifies as sudden. And matters were a little more complicated, for I was right in the middle of the road. One truck driver took pity on me and slowed down long enough for me to remain alive and cross the road.

Another interesting event occurs when one is trying to cross a road that belongs to type 3. The minute one thinks it is safe to venture forwards, a malicious looking vehicle comes charging at you and you have to move back again. A friend pointed out to me that from across the road, it seemed like I was executing some kind of a dance. Not being anywhere close to a dancer, I took that to be a compliment, though there was absolutely no effort on my part. :P

I have a cousin who claims that crossing roads is one of the simplest and easiest things anyone could ever do. Very true, if the "anyone" involved is not me. He walks across the road with his hand positioned in a manner that asks the drivers to please slow down so that he can cross. I once tried to imitate his example. I put out my hand, the minute I started to cross the road.

Nobody slowed down.

And I was subjected to some of the most rude looks in existance. The next time I met my brother, I beat him up till he felt like he had just crossed the worst road in existence sans the outstreched hand..

To cross a road of type 3, I sometimes follow a strategy. This I usually employ when there seem to be entirely too many vehicles to dodge.

Strategy:

Step 1. Look for a person who is headed in the same direction as me.
Step 2. Stand next to that person so that he/she faces the traffic.
Step 3. Follow!

One morning, I got off the bus only to discover that there had been a sudden increase in the number and the speed of vehicles. Hence, I decided to implement my trusted strategy. I noticed another girl wanting to reach the other side of the road. As per step 1, I went and stood next to her. To my amusement and utter dismay, she promptly came and stood next to me so that I faced the traffic!! Both of us were executing the dance-like movements (described earlier), when an old lady walked next to us with utmost confidence, put out her hand and started to walk across the road as though it were no more than a garden. With a very sheepish look on our faces and admiration for the confidence of the senior citizen, we followed her to our destination..

Ever since, I have implemented my strategy (humph!) more often (and with more success) when older people are around. Most times the drivers are considerate towards the older people and allow you to walk across without theatening to kill you.

A wise man once said "I think therefore I am". If he had also crossed roads like the ones in existance today, he just might have quoted the title of this post.. :P